


You're The One Habit I Just Can't Kick

by lumosflies



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Family Member Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27054025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumosflies/pseuds/lumosflies
Summary: They said their official goodbyes to the graduating class of 2013 shortly after the ceremony.Later that weekend, in the early hours of Asahi’s last day in Miyagi, they had their real goodbye curled around each other on Asahi’s freshly made bed.---Asahi, Nishinoya, and the five love languages throughout the years
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu
Comments: 41
Kudos: 84





	1. Physical Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by "[Heaven's Gate](https://youtu.be/e6A3VCU36fo)" by Fall Out Boy
> 
> [Five Love Languages](https://www.5lovelanguages.com/5-love-languages/): words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch

They said their official goodbyes to the graduating class of 2013 shortly after the ceremony. 

While some of the team members fought to hold back their tears (and others didn’t try to hide it at all), Nishinoya stared them down with fierce determination. It was his way of reassuring them that they had left the team in good hands. 

He watched the graduates wave back at them, half of them holding back happy tears of their own. One look at the carefree smile on Asahi’s face was more than enough to reassure Nishinoya that they had succeeded in the current year. 

They helped him regain his confidence and eased the burden of relying on their ace to win. For once, Nishinoya wasn’t worried about Asahi’s confidence faltering. Asahi was done with volleyball, and he was moving on to start the rest of his adult life. He was going to be okay.

Later that weekend, in the early hours of Asahi’s last day in Miyagi, they had their real goodbye curled around each other on Asahi’s freshly made bed.

“I’m not dying,” Asahi huffed out a laugh as Nishinoya clung to his side.

In response, Nishinoya’s limbs clamped tighter onto Asahi’s torso. He knew it was childish, wrapping himself around Asahi like this when they both knew Asahi had to finish his last-minute packing preparations. Maybe it was selfish, but Nishinoya wasn’t ready to let go yet.

“I’m proud of you for doing this,” he mumbled.

It was the same mantra he had been mentally repeating to himself since Asahi first told him about his post-graduation plans. He was truly happy for Asahi. He _had_ to be happy for him.

“I know,” Asahi said gently, smoothing out the wrinkles of Nishinoya’s t-shirt across his back with one hand.

“Just because the timing sucks, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go,” Nishinoya said.

“I know,” Asahi repeated in the same soft tone.

It was a different kind of quiet for Asahi. Nishinoya learned over the years that when Asahi was quiet like this, he was either anxious or just content to savor the moment. Judging from the way Asahi had calmly woken him up, Nishinoya figured he wasn’t feeling very anxious today.

Even as Nishinoya gradually loosened his grip, he kept his head on Asahi’s shoulder. He reached out for Asahi’s other hand, which Asahi granted him wordlessly. Like most of their physical contact over the last year, they didn’t address it.

It had started with casual touches—brushing past each other in the club room, helping each other stretch after practice, crowding each other’s personal space when they had to take the bus in the middle of the evening rush hour.

Then it became a little less casual, a little less platonic. Nishinoya would reach for Asahi’s hand on their walk home and Asahi would welcome Nishinoya into his arms as they watched a movie on his bed.

But neither had said a word about the shift in their dynamic. It was just a natural progression that they didn’t feel the need to question. Some part of Nishinoya wondered how they would even discuss where they stood with each other if they wanted to have that discussion.

The most he could say for himself was that it just felt _right_.

Nishinoya closed his eyes. He couldn’t keep staring at the curve of Asahi’s clenched jawline and the short stubble that Asahi would undoubtedly shave later that morning. He also didn’t want to remind himself that this would be the last time he got to see Asahi like this for a long time, possibly forever.

Instead of the inevitable departure that was quickly approaching, Nishinoya focused on the steady rhythm of Asahi’s heartbeats with the rise and fall of his chest.

It wasn’t much different from how they fell asleep shortly after Nishinoya had climbed through Asahi’s window in the dead of night less than six hours ago.

Asahi had fretted over his safety and pulled him through the rest of the way until he was safely inside. Nishinoya hadn’t bothered reminding Asahi that they had been through this routine a dozen times throughout the last year without any major injuries.

Just as Nishinoya could feel himself drifting in and out of sleep again, Asahi was the first to break the silence.

“Yuu, it’s almost time.”

Nishinoya let out a slow breath through his nose and squeezed the larger hand in his own, tracing his thumb over Asahi’s knuckles.

“Okay.”

They didn’t actually say the word “goodbye.”

Nishinoya was at a loss for words for once, but Asahi seemed to understand. He let Asahi pull a sweatshirt two sizes too big over his head and give him one last sad smile on his way out. They didn’t say a word to each other as Nishinoya opened the window, letting the draft blow his hair out of his eyes. 

The window was easier to climb through in the daylight—if the sliver of pale blue slowly peeking over the mountaintops could even pass for daylight. Once his feet hit the ground and he started walking toward the street, Nishinoya took stock of his reality. Despite the tight feeling in his chest, the world was still spinning.

The ground remained sturdy beneath his sneakers, the sky would grow lighter by the minute, and the tree in Asahi’s backyard would continue to grow in the absence of its longest-standing witness. Life would have to go on now. 

Normally, Nishinoya would appreciate a rare moment of peace on a spring morning, but he didn’t think about that. Today, he just felt like running.

The crisp air filled his lungs as he sprinted away from Asahi’s view. He ran until he was well beyond the outskirts of Asahi’s neighborhood, slowing down only when he reached the bottom of the road leading up to Karasuno.

The gym wouldn’t be open—school wasn’t back in session yet. Nishinoya considered turning around and going home to catch up on sleep.

Then he remembered the grassy hill by the side of the school, where he and the rest of the team had run tirelessly during summer training. It was also where he had seen Asahi resting by himself after school a handful of times. He remembered seeing Asahi fold his arms behind his head and watching the clouds pass.

Cloud gazing wasn’t exactly Nishinoya’s favorite pastime—he liked to move around and do something that kept his mind just as active. However, at that moment, he wanted to see the appeal.

Nishinoya ran up the road toward his school. He didn’t spare a glance at what he left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!
> 
> A few things to get this fic started:
> 
> \- I might experiment with non-chronological storytelling  
> \- Your love language (how you show your love for someone) isn't the only way you can show your love. If you take the quiz and find out you prefer physical touch over the others, that doesn't mean you won't respond well to words of affirmation, receiving gifts, etc.  
> \- Asanoya lives in my head rent-free but that's nothing new.
> 
> I don't know how soon or often I can update the next chapters, so please bear with me if it takes a while for the next one.
> 
> Thanks again for reading!!


	2. Receiving Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It started with a simple postcard.
> 
> He didn’t have to look at the picture of the Himilayan mountains in the back to know who sent it.

It started with a simple postcard.

In his second year of university, Asahi received his first piece of mail from a foreign country. He didn’t have to look at the picture of the Himilayan mountains in the back to know who sent it.

Rather, he focused on the other side. In his signature messy scrawl, Nishinoya had written a short message.

_Hey Asahi,_

_I finally made it! There’s nothing more exciting and breathtaking than reaching the top of a mountain. I know you’re a little scared of heights, but I really think you’d like it here! Come join me next time!!_

_Take care,_

_Noya_

Asahi smiled at the postcard as he carefully placed it in his nightstand drawer. After a long day of classes and work, a cheerful postcard from Nishinoya was just what he needed to remember that even the worst days could be salvaged.

They kept in touch after high school. It was harder to keep up with each other when they could only call and text so much, but Asahi thought it was worth the wait. Nishinoya was still important to him, even if their relationship remained undefined. That was okay with Asahi.

Two months later, Nishinoya sent a small care package full of souvenir magnets and keychains from Canada. In the center of the box, a pale yellow envelope greeted Asahi with the same messy handwriting.

_Hey Asahi,_

_You’ll never believe how cold it is here! The language barrier is hard to get around, but I’m trying my best. If this gets here before your first show, remember to take a deep breath and relax. You’ve been working so hard and you deserve a break. If it’s too late, then remember to keep your head up. You did such a great job! Send me some pictures of the show when you can!_

_Yours,_

_Noya_

Asahi ran a hand through his hair as he read Nishinoya’s letter. He sat down on his couch and read it again just for good measure. He briefly mentioned an upcoming showcase to Nishinoya during their last phone call about three weeks ago. He didn’t expect Nishinoya to remember such a small detail of his life in the midst of his hectic travel adventures. Asahi had once received a picture from Nishinoya of his wrist in a cast with no follow-up text or mention of the injury in their next phone call.

Asahi carefully placed the keychains in the nightstand drawer next to his first postcard. There wasn’t much in the drawer beside his phone charger and a flashlight for emergencies, but Asahi had a feeling it would fill up quickly if Nishinoya kept this up.

He returned to the kitchen to place the magnets on the fridge door. They barely filled the top right corner of the door, but that just made Asahi appreciate them more as an accent to his otherwise standard interior design.

Nishinoya called the next day while Asahi was cooking dinner.

“ASAHI!”

Asahi winced, turning on speaker mode and placing the phone on the counter. Nishinoya didn’t usually greet him by yelling through the phone, but it sounded like he was in a noisy room in the first place.

“Hi Noya,” Asahi said. “Are you in the middle of a crowd right now?”

“Kind of, yeah,” Nishinoya laughed. “I’m on my way to watch a sled dog race.”

“A sled dog race? What’s that like?” Asahi asked as he carefully chopped the vegetables.

“It’s so cool! The people steering their dogs are called mushers, and they all have teams of the fastest and strongest dogs to pull their sled.”

“That does sound cool,” Asahi agreed. “I bet those dogs must be exhausted by the end, though.”

They continued checking in on each other as Asahi added his pork and vegetables to the pot on the stove, stirring occasionally. Asahi told Nishinoya about the rush of seeing his work modeled in front of an audience for the first time, to which Nishinoya whooped and cheered loudly. Asahi tried to reason that it was only an audience of his peers and professors from school, but that didn’t stop Nishinoya.

“It’s still a big deal, Asahi!” Nishinoya insisted. “You should be proud of yourself. I’m proud of you!”

“Thanks, Noya,” Asahi mumbled.

For once, he was thankful that Nishinoya couldn’t see the way his face was heating up. It wasn’t the first time Nishinoya—or anyone for that matter—had complimented his work, but that didn’t mean Asahi expected it just for trying.

As they continued talking, Nishinoya’s voice began to cut in and out in the middle of his spiels. Asahi sighed, hoping he was quiet enough to hide it from Nishinoya.

“It’s harder to hear you now,” he said. “I should let you go anyways.”

On the other end of the line, Nishinoya was more vocal about his disappointment in ending the call.

“Yeah my connection is pretty bad right now,” he groaned. “Plus it must be pretty late over there.”

Asahi didn’t bother mentioning the time. “Enjoy the sled dog race, Noya.”

“Talk soon?” Nishinoya asked.

At best, it was a mere formality. They both knew that Nishinoya would call him again the next time they both had some free time.

“Of course,” Asahi said with a smile.

“Goodnight, Asahi.”

“Good morning, Noya.”

Over the next six months, Asahi’s souvenir and letter collection grew exponentially. His fridge bore a new collection of magnets from nearly a dozen countries. At some point, he had to empty his nightstand drawer and move his collection to one of his desk drawers. When that drawer began to overflow, Asahi decided to decorate his apartment.

A few snow globes sat on his living room windowsill. He attached the various keychains to a lanyard along with his keys for safekeeping. Likewise, he carefully positioned each sticker from Nishinoya on the cover of his favorite sketchbook.

While Asahi said he loved all of the gifts equally, he secretly had a favorite. Nishinoya had learned how to make washer bracelets at one point, and he sent a handful of them back to his friends, including Asahi.

They were each stamped with simple idioms. When Asahi first tried it on, it reminded him of the time Nishinoya and Tanaka got custom t-shirts printed for the volleyball team.

He wore the bracelet as much as possible, only forgoing it when he needed to dress professionally for internship interviews. Even then, he would simply keep it in his pocket until he was in the clear.

It was made of a simple black cord tied around the centerpiece, a flat ring of copper with the words “One day, one step” stamped onto it.

“It’s a reminder to keep working toward your goals!” Nishinoya had explained when Asahi mentioned it during one of their phone calls. 

Although Asahi hadn’t admitted it aloud, wearing that bracelet was a constant reminder of not just Nishinoya, but the way Nishinoya had pushed him to pursue his fashion career in the first place. In Asahi’s opinion, he might not have even found the courage to move to Tokyo on his own without Nishinoya’s help.

“Do you like it?” Nishinoya had asked.

“Of course I do,” Asahi had assured him as he fiddled with the bracelet on his wrist. “I love it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!
> 
> It's been a while since the last update and I don't know when I'll have the time for the next chapter, but I'm not giving up on this!!
> 
> This semester has been pretty challenging and I'm still new to grad school so I'm just trying my best out here 😅
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/jijisdeliveries) | [Tumblr](https://lumosflies.tumblr.com/)


	3. Acts of Service

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I love my parents but they’ve been...a lot,” Nishinoya said. “I just need some breathing room.”
> 
> “In a tiny apartment,” Tanaka added. “You can still stay with me if you want. I’m much closer than Tokyo.”
> 
> Nishinoya turned his stare from the open road to his best friend in the driver’s seat.
> 
> “I know, Ryuu,” he said. “I really appreciate all you’ve done for me.”
> 
> “Not enough to choose me over Asahi?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for this chapter: mentions of death/death of a family member

Nishinoya knew something was wrong when he had missed four consecutive calls from his mother. When he saw that his father and each of his sisters had also tried to reach him, his heart nearly stopped beating. There could only be one reason they were all this desperate to contact him at once.

He made sure he was alone when he called his mother back. She answered immediately as if she had been waiting up for him. Nishinoya checked the time on the wall clock. It was only 6:00 pm for him, but it was 1:00 am for her.

Nishinoya half-expected her to tell him the worst-case scenario. Despite the news, his mother’s voice was calm and steady. She told him that his grandfather still had _some_ time, but emphasized that it was not a lot. They both knew that he had to go home immediately. She didn’t even have to ask.

“Yuu, honey, how are you doing?”

“I’ll...I’ll be on the next flight to Tokyo,” he mumbled.

There was a pause on the other end. Nishinoya didn’t know what else to say. Apparently, neither did his mother.

“Okay,” she finally said. “Please be safe and call us if you need anything.”

“Get some rest, mom.”

“You too.”

The next month was perhaps the most chaotic yet still month of Nishinoya’s life. He was able to visit his grandfather alone the day after he arrived in Japan, but that was the last time they were alone together. Even if his grandfather was coherent one day and barely present the next, his entire immediate family spent as much time with him as possible. It was too much—too fast. Nishinoya felt like he was suffocating every time another relative walked through his parents’ front door.

He had told a few people that he was coming back and staying with his family, but he only told Asahi and Tanaka about his grandfather. By proxy, that meant Kiyoko probably knew as well—there were no secrets between Tanaka and her—but Nishinoya didn’t mind. He just didn’t want everyone he knew to swarm him with the same questions that threatened to break his composure every time.

“Do you need anything?” Asahi had asked during their first phone call in the same time zone.

“I...I don’t know. Not now but maybe later?” Nishinoya sighed. “The house is getting a little crowded with everyone coming over, but I think I’ll be okay for now.”

“Of course,” Asahi said gently. “You’re always welcome to come stay with me later on if you need some space.”

“I couldn’t do that to you in the middle of finals,” Nishinoya said, shaking his head.

“I don’t care,” Asahi replied. “You’re more important.”

Nishinoya didn’t know how to respond to that. Asahi’s confidence had been growing since he started at university, but he had never been so quick to assert himself to Nishinoya like that before.

His mother had interrupted the call to ask Nishinoya to help set the table for dinner, and he said goodbye to Asahi before joining her.

Nishinoya’s grandfather passed away in his sleep two days later. He didn’t remember being present for anything from the funeral besides his sisters holding his hands and letting him lean on them for support. After another month of staying with his family, Nishinoya needed to get out.

“You’re really going to Tokyo and staying with Asahi?” Tanaka had asked when he picked Nishinoya up from his parents’ house.

“I love my parents but they’ve been...a lot,” Nishinoya said. “I just need some breathing room.”

“In a tiny apartment,” Tanaka added. “You can still stay with me if you want. I’m much closer than Tokyo.”

Nishinoya turned his stare from the open road to his best friend in the driver’s seat.

“I know, Ryuu,” he said. “I really appreciate all you’ve done for me.”

“Not enough to choose me over Asahi?” Tanaka asked, not even bothering to hold back his knowing smile.

“You have work all week!” Nishinoya exclaimed. “Plus it’s easier to get to the airport from there.”

Tanaka just laughed, shaking his head. “You guys are practically together anyway. Might as well see him before you leave us again.”

All traces of their lighthearted bantering fell silent. Nishinoya leaned back in his seat, looking at the road again.

“It’s not….we’re not—”

“Hey, you don’t have to explain yourself to me,” Tanaka said seriously. “It’s no one’s business but yours and Asahi’s.”

Nishinoya stayed quiet, unsure of how to respond. He had never talked to Tanaka about the nature of his relationship with Asahi before. He and Asahi hadn’t even defined it themselves.

“Man, I’m sorry if I was overstepping just now,” Tanaka said. “I just thought that since you two are so close still...You know what? Nevermind. You don’t have to talk about it.”

“We haven’t even talked about it—Asahi and me, I mean,” Nishinoya replied. “Do you know how frustrating it is not knowing where you stand with someone?”

Tanaka laughed again. “Remember when Kiyoko and I started going out?”

“Yeah.”

“For the first month I convinced myself that she was just being nice and humoring me to get me to stop acting like a fool,” Tanaka admitted.

“And now you’re gonna propose.”

“And now I’m gonna propose.”

“Thanks a lot for breaking our pact,” Nishinoya teased.

“You snooze, you lose,” Tanaka said, shrugging. “What I’m trying to say is you’ll never know what’s going on with you and Asahi if you don’t talk to him about it.”

Nishinoya groaned, slumping in his seat. “You’re right but that doesn’t mean I’m thrilled about it.”

“At least if things go horribly wrong, you’ll be able to avoid him,” Tanaka said.

* * *

Nishinoya had seen pictures of Asahi wearing his new glasses before, but he didn’t know how well they framed his face from up close. He also didn’t know that Asahi’s newfound confidence would somehow make it harder not to stare.

“Hey, Asahi!” Tanaka called out from his window. “Good to see ya!”

While Asahi turned his attention to greet Tanaka, Nishinoya took the opportunity to remind himself that it was just Asahi, his old friend who just happened to look really good in sweaters and thick square glasses. Nishinoya wondered if this was just a side effect of the setting sun highlighting Asahi’s already warm smile at them. Still, he had seen Asahi plenty of times through his phone. Why should this be any different?

Nishinoya forced himself to look away as he got out of the car and made a beeline for the trunk. If he could just get his bags while Tanaka kept Asahi occupied, he would have been able to calm the conflicting thoughts competing for his attention. His plan fell through the second he saw a tall shadow approaching his own on the pavement.

“Let me get that for you,” Asahi said, already reaching into the trunk.

Nishinoya bit his tongue in surprise. Tanaka had _one job_.

“You don’t have to do that,” Nishinoya shook his head.

“But I want to help you,” Asahi insisted.

Nishinoya looked up at his friend. Asahi already had his travel backpack on one shoulder and his suitcase in the other hand.

“Thanks,” Nishinoya mumbled.

If Asahi thought something was wrong, he at least had the courtesy not to mention it in front of Tanaka while they said their goodbyes. Asahi invited Tanaka to stay for dinner, but Tanaka brushed him off, joking that he needed some alone time after a long drive with Nishinoya.

“Call me if you need anything,” Tanaka reminded him before driving off.

Within seconds, they were alone together for the first time since Nishinoya’s graduation. Asahi started walking into the apartment building. Nishinoya had to rush forward to open the doors for him. It was the least he could do.

The first thing Nishinoya noticed upon entering Asahi’s apartment was a bulletin board hanging up in the hallway entrance filled with various postcards and pictures that he had sent to Asahi.

“Nice decorations,” Nishinoya commented. “Travel much?”

“Nope, but I heard they all have wonderful sights,” Asahi chuckled.

Having a small one-bedroom apartment made it easy to give a quick tour. Nishinoya felt another surge of pride when he saw the souvenir magnets decorating the fridge and the snow globes in the living room window.

Asahi’s bedroom was small enough with just the basic furniture, so Nishinoya didn’t know how Asahi managed to fit two dress forms and a pile of fabric pooling around them on the floor in the same corner. One of the dress forms bore a burgundy blouse tucked into a black skirt that Nishinoya assumed would have been knee-length on an actual model. The outfit on the other dress form was a simple black dress, but the pins lining the bottom of the skirt told Nishinoya it wasn’t done yet.

Nishinoya didn’t realize how long he had been staring at the clothes until Asahi cleared his throat behind him. He turned his attention back to Asahi as Asahi set the bags down on the bed.

“Sorry it’s a little crowded in here,” Asahi said. “I meant to clean up earlier but I actually stayed up late finishing some work and—”

“You made all this?”

“It’s not much and it was kind of rushed if I’m being honest,” Asahi said, shrugging. “But I’m improving.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Asahi,” Nishinoya shook his head. “Not when you work harder than anyone I know.”

Asahi just smiled back at him. “Thank you, Noya.”

As Nishinoya dug around in his backpack for his toiletries, he told Asahi he could get back to his work if he needed to. After making sure that Nishinoya didn’t need anything, Asahi started working on his unfinished project.

Nishinoya took the opportunity to wash up in the bathroom. It had been a long day for him, and he had just gotten used to sharing a bathroom with his family again. With three older sisters, it wasn’t easy to find the right time to use the bathroom for more than five minutes. When he was done, he checked in on Asahi and asked if he could make dinner.

“I can cook for us,” Asahi offered. “You’re the guest. You should relax.”

“You’re the one finishing a project,” Nishinoya pointed out. “You should take a break and I’ll cook.”

They continued their banter for a few minutes until Asahi held up his hands in defeat.

“Aright, how about a compromise?” he asked. “I’ll cook tonight and you can make dinner tomorrow.”

Nishinoya sighed and crossed his arms. “I wanted to do something for you since you’re already doing so much for me.”

Asahi got up from his seat to approach Nishinoya. Nishinoya kept his eyes on Asahi, trying to stare him down. Asahi placed a gentle hand on Nishinoya’s shoulder.

“I know you’re going through a lot right now, so please just let me take care of you,” Asahi insisted. “You’ve been taking care of your family so much. You deserve a break.”

At that point, Nishinoya had no choice but to let Asahi cook dinner. He didn’t know how it all started spiraling from there. Asahi later offered to help Nishinoya with his laundry so he would be traveling with fresh, clean clothes. After that, he insisted on offering his bed to Nishinoya, to which Nishinoya refused if it meant Asahi would be sleeping on the couch. They settled on sharing the bed since it was big enough for both of them.

It was the first time they shared a bed since Asahi graduated from high school. Nishinoya half-expected to have another restless night of sleep, seeing as he’d had trouble sleeping since he arrived in Japan. Instead, he slept throughout the entire night, not even noticing when the additional overwhelming warmth left his side. 

Asahi made breakfast for him the next morning before he could even wake up. Nishinoya walked in on Asahi cooking in the early hours of the morning, humming along to the music playing on his phone.

Nishinoya didn’t realize just how much he had been doing on his own until he had help with the mundane tasks of his routines. As he watched Asahi carefully lay the eggs on top of the rice, Nishinoya cursed under his breath. This wasn’t making it any easier to sort out his feelings.

“Morning,” he greeted as he entered the kitchen.

Asahi paused to turn around. “Good morning, did you sleep well?”

“Better than you can imagine,” Nishinoya said.

“I’m glad,” Asahi said as he set the table. “I hope I didn’t wake you up too early.”

Nishinoya looked at the clock on the kitchen wall. It was almost 9:00, which wasn’t necessarily early or late, but it was later than usual for him to wake up.

“You’re fine,” Nishinoya waved him off as he sat down across from Asahi. “Thanks for cooking again.”

Besides the brief moments between bites and sips of coffee, they didn’t talk much during breakfast. Asahi told him that he would have to go to work today, but he would be back in time for dinner. When they were done, Nishinoya offered to wash the dishes. He was surprised when Asahi let him and left to take a shower. As Nishinoya scrubbed the dishes and pan, he noticed a bright green sticky note on the wall above the counter. He read the list of various household chores, about a third of which were crossed out.

  * _Dust living room and bedroom_


  * Clean up work station


  * Clean mirrors and windows


  * Throw out spoiled food


  * Change bedding


  * Water plants



Nishinoya wondered if Asahi did this regularly or in preparation for hosting a guest. Asahi never mentioned his cleaning routine before, but Nishinoya had also never asked. When he was done with the washing and drying, the rest of the apartment was quiet. Nishinoya hadn’t had much quiet or alone time at his parents’ house, so he had to remind himself that this was normal. It was his normal when he had the occasional room to himself in his travels and it was normal for someone like Asahi, who lived alone full time.

Ever since he set foot in Japan, Nishinoya didn’t have more than a few minutes to himself to get some breathing room or even think about the whirlwind of emotions threatening to overtake his being. Now that he had the time to stop and breathe and think— _actually think and process_ —he didn’t like it. He couldn’t run again, not until his next flight on Sunday. He was never a fan of being stagnant, but he especially disliked it at the moment.

Nishinoya checked the clock again. He had only been washing the dishes for about fifteen minutes and he wanted to change as well, but he figured Asahi needed to use the bedroom first since he actually had somewhere to go. If he waited until Asahi left to get ready, he could take his time and help out with the unfinished list of chores while Asahi was away. That would at least help keep his mind busy.

He settled on waiting on the living room couch and turned on the tv. A local news station filled the screen and gave Nishinoya the perfect amount of distraction to stop himself from entertaining the thought of what it would be like to live with Asahi for real.

It was just his luck that the bathroom door swung open and Asahi stepped out, nearly bare except for a towel wrapped around his waist. Asahi quickly crossed the hall and disappeared behind his bedroom door. He didn’t seem to notice the way Nishinoya’s jaw hung slack. From his spot on the end of the couch closest to the hallway, it was impossible _not_ to watch Asahi in those few quick seconds. The universe just couldn’t seem to give him a break. 

When the door closed, Nishinoya recomposed himself and forced his gaze back to the tv screen. He watched the reports on local businesses and the weather forecast until a few minutes later when Asahi emerged from the bedroom. This time he was fully dressed, and his hair had been tied up in a neat bun. Nishinoya also noticed that Asahi’s face was more clean-shaven than yesterday, and he wondered how often Asahi had to shave to maintain his beard. If it weren’t for the square glasses perched on his nose again, Nishinoya would have been able to look away much faster. 

“Is there something on my face?” Asahi asked, reaching up to touch the corner of his mouth.

Nishinoya shook his head, adding a smile and a thumbs up for good measure. “Nope, you’re good!”

“Oh, thank god,” Asahi sighed in relief. “Last time I showed up to work with toothpaste on my mouth, no one told me until I was already there for two hours.”

As Asahi collected his lunch and water bottle, carefully placing them in his backpack, Nishinoya watched from his spot on the couch. He returned Asahi’s smile and waved as Asahi grabbed his keys and jacket on the way out. When Asahi was gone, he found himself staring at the door, barely listening to the ambiance of the news station.

A text notification from his phone brought Nishinoya’s attention back to reality. He took it out of his sweatpants pocket to see who was texting him.

 **From Tanaka:** u doing ok over there?

Tanaka always did have impeccable timing for tense situations.

 **To Tanaka:** i think you were right about us

 **To Tanaka:** why did you have to be right?

 **From Tanaka:** hang in there buddy

 **From Tanaka:** or just tell him how you feel? the worst he can say is he just wants to be friends

It wasn’t the answer he was hoping for, but Nishinoya knew that Tanaka was right again. He tossed his phone to the other side of the couch and stood up. Now that Asahi was gone, he had some work to do.

* * *

Even with the extra time it took to shower and get ready for the day, Nishinoya still managed to finish the list of chores relatively quickly. He had kept the tv on as background noise when he was in the living room and kitchen, then he switched to playing music and random videos on his phone when he had to move on to the other rooms. When he was done with the bedroom and bathroom, he decided to make lunch for himself. That would then give him the excuse to keep cleaning when he was done eating.

Cooking, eating, and washing the dishes a second time was a surprisingly short endeavor. Nishinoya looked at the clock again. It was only 1:00 pm, and he was quickly starting to feel the weight of the silence and isolation in the apartment. He opened the windows in the living room, hoping that the fresh air and noises of the traffic outside would help him calm down. 

In the process of opening the windows, Nishinoya knocked a few snow globes and plants onto the floor. He watched the snow globes roll away, unharmed on the soft rug Asahi had spread across the living room. The plants were in worse shape. Some of the pots had cracked from the impact, but all of them lost a decent amount of soil from the fall.

Nishinoya carefully picked up the snow globes and returned them to the windowsill. He then carried the plants over to the kitchen table, making a mental note to wash that too when he was done.

“Fuck!” he muttered to himself. “Fucking— of fucking _course_!”

Nishinoya didn’t know much about plant care, but he knew that at the very least they needed soil, water, and sunlight. He was currently depriving them of all three. He began frantically searching the lower cabinets.

When he didn’t find anything in the kitchen, he moved on to the bathroom cabinet. All he found in there were more cleaning supplies and toiletries. The only other place he could think of was the bedroom, but Asahi was so neat and tidy to begin with that Nishinoya couldn’t imagine him storing soil in there.

He doubted it would be in the dresser, so he checked the closet first. To his surprise, the hangers displayed a decent number of suits and ties. Nishinoya guessed they were just part of working in the fashion industry, but a bag of soil sitting in the corner reminded him that he didn’t have time to daydream.

Nishinoya picked up the half-empty bag of soil, cursing again when some spilled out onto the bedroom floor. He brought it back into the kitchen, holding the bottom firmly to prevent more spilling, and used the small plastic cup inside the bag to scoop some of it into the various pots. He packed it down lightly with his fingers and walked the plants back to the window one by one for good measure.

When he was done, he took a look at the trail of dirt he had left in his wake across the apartment. He cursed at himself again as he got to work.

By 5:00 pm, Nishinoya had relentlessly swept, dusted, scrubbed, and polished nearly every surface of the apartment. He didn’t dare move Asahi’s personal belongings for more than a few seconds to clean the surface beneath them. The smell of the cleaning products had started to bother him a few hours ago, but he persisted. He wanted to show Asahi his appreciation for his kindness, and he wasn’t about to let some chemicals get in his way.

When there was absolutely nothing left to clean, Nishinoya all but collapsed onto the living room floor. He probably needed a second shower, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to see the look on Asahi’s face when he came home.

The rug was surprisingly comfortable for something that had been walked on constantly throughout the day. Nishinoya closed his eyes and spread his arms out to stretch. He didn’t expect one of his hands to meet a piece of paper underneath the tv stand. He must have missed this spot in his grand sweeping. He picked it up and held it up to his face closer for inspection.

Nishinoya nearly dropped what he now realized was a slightly faded picture. It was a copy of the same one he had kept taped to the inside of his travel journal. A younger Asahi and much younger Nishinoya were grinning wide at the camera, their arms around each other in a close side-hug. In the background, Tanaka did his best to reach out and hold his fingers up behind Nishinoya’s head. A third person whose back was turned to the camera had her hand on Tanaka’s wrist before his blurry hand could even reach Nishinoya.

Nishinoya didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the moment captured by this picture. It was so simple, so silly at the time that he knew he wanted the memory to stay with him during his first solo trip. He hadn’t cared much about graduation besides the fact that he was now free to travel the world on his own, but Asahi and Kiyoko had returned to watch them graduate.

* * *

“Asahi! You’re here!”

Even in the crowd of indiscernible faces during the ceremony, Nishinoya could easily spot Asahi among the others. With his diploma in hand, Nishinoya let his feet carry him faster than he could think.

“Of course, I told you I’d be here,” Asahi laughed as Nishinoya launched himself into Asahi’s arms.

Behind them, Nishinoya could hear Tanaka proudly himself a high school graduate and Ennoshita chastising him for being so loud.

Asahi laughed again as he carefully set Nishinoya back on his feet. Nishinoya was reluctant to let go so quickly, but he still let Asahi detach himself as he greeted the other members of the volleyball team.

Later, when Nishinoya and the rest of the third years said their goodbyes to the team and left their underclassmen in the capable hands of Yamaguchi, Nishinoya convinced Asahi to walk home with him.

“Congratulations, by the way,” Asahi said after a few minutes of silence since they left the school grounds. “I’m really proud of you.”

When Nishinoya looked up at his friend, he was met with a warm smile that brought him back to the previous spring.

“Thanks,” Nishinoya grinned back at him, “I couldn’t have made it this far without you.”

Asahi had stayed in town for the rest of that weekend to visit his parents and friends. He didn’t question Nishinoya when he had slipped his hand into Asahi’s during their walks around the neighborhood or the way Nishinoya absently moved his fingers through Asahi’s hair when they decided to watch a movie in Asahi’s bedroom the next night.

Nishinoya was grateful that they could quietly pick up where they had last left off a year ago. He liked to think that he had grown and changed even more in the past year, but some things, he realized, never changed.

* * *

The longer Nishinoya looked at the picture, the faster his smile faded. Some part of him resented this version of himself in the past for being so carefree and taking the time with his friends for granted. If that Nishinoya knew how little time his grandfather had left, he would have stayed or at least made more frequent visits. He missed listening to his grandfather’s stories and playing games with him. 

Most of all, he missed turning to one of the few people he could count on for the unfiltered advice he needed to hear. Now, the only other person he could think of was busy with taking the next big step in his own life and what did Nishinoya have to show for his? Some souvenirs from tourist attractions and excursions? Some fleeting interactions with strangers who probably forgot about him by the next day? A close friendship he had imposed on someone for years only to leave him for months at a time?

The leaving part was inevitable. They both knew Nishinoya planned to start his journey as soon as possible. But now Nishinoya was stuck in the same situation. The only difference was he actually knew how he felt about Asahi this time but he didn’t know how _Asahi_ felt about him. For all he knew, Asahi was content with his life just the way it was and just being courteous to Nishinoya during his stay.

Nishinoya didn’t realize he had been crying until he heard the front door open and heard Asahi announce his arrival.

“Hey, I’m back—”

At the sound of Asahi’s voice, Nishinoya sat up, dropping the picture to the floor. It was too late, though. His face was probably enough of a streaky mess to give him away. 

Asahi swung the door shut behind him. He was kneeling beside Nishinoya in seconds.

“Noya? Are you okay?” Asahi asked. “Did you get hurt?”

The worried tremble in Asahi’s voice was hard to miss. Nishinoya didn’t even know how to respond. He was able to stand up on his own and wipe his eyes with the back of his sleeve, but the damage had already been done. Asahi walked in on him crying over a goddamn picture.

“I’m fine,” Nishinoya mumbled.

He watched Asahi’s lips turn down in a tight line.

“Forgive me for assuming,” Asahi said, “But I don’t believe you.”

Nishinoya didn’t know what to say. How was he supposed to react to finally letting down his emotional dam after two months of keeping himself composed?

“Do you want to talk about it?” Asahi asked.

He pushed himself up onto his feet, pausing for a moment to see if Asahi would try to stop him. Nishinoya didn’t know if he would have wanted that.

“That’s the problem,” Nishinoya sighed. “There’s nothing to talk about because I’m apparently not even doing anything meaningful with my life.”

Still on the floor, Asahi stared up at Nishinoya. He looked too stunned at the bluntness of the statement. Nishinoya crossed his arms across his chest and looked away from Asahi as he continued.

“Meanwhile you’re getting ready to graduate in a few months, and Tanaka’s about to get engaged- shit! Forget you heard that. Actually, let’s just forget you saw everything. I’m gonna go make dinner—”

Finally, Asahi stood up to properly face Nishinoya. His hand slowly reached out, and when Nishinoya didn’t push him away, he gently tilted Nishinoya’s chin up. Nishinoya’s eyes were watering, and seeing Asahi stare at him with so much pity only made it worse.

“Noya, how long have you been holding that in?”

“What?”

Asahi repeated the question, and this time, Nishinoya realized that he hadn’t been fooling Asahi the same way he had fooled himself for the past two months.

“Asahi, I’m…” Nishinoya sighed again. “Fuck, I’m not okay, am I?”

Asahi’s thumb traced the bottom of his eye, catching some of the tears that began to roll down his cheek.

“I wish I had an answer for you, Noya,” he said.

Instead of answering, Nishinoya stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Asahi. He tried to keep his face off of Asahi’s clean work shirt, but Asahi didn’t seem to mind as he hugged Nishinoya in return. 

When it became apparent to both of them, Nishinoya let Ashai guide him over to the couch. Nishinoya kept his face hidden against Asahi’s shoulder and his legs draped over Asahi’s lap as Asahi rubbed his back.

They stayed like that for a while. Nishinoya didn’t know how to explain himself, but Asahi also wasn’t pushing him for an explanation. Instead, Asahi just carefully rested his chin on top of Nishinoya’s head. It reminded Nishinoya of their high school days, when their biggest problems were whether they would move on in the bracket and it was just so much easier to read each other.

Eventually, Nishinoya’s breathing had evened out and he was sure that the crying was done for good. Childish as it was, he still didn’t want to talk about this meltdown just yet. He pulled away just enough to get a proper look at Asahi, who looked like he was patiently waiting for Nishinoya to speak.

Nishinoya tried to keep his eyes on Asahi’s, but he couldn’t stop himself from glancing down just a few centimeters lower landing on the shape of Asahi’s lips pulled into a sympathetic smile. The smile didn’t last, though.

By the time Nishinoya looked up again, he knew it was too late, and Asahi’s slight frown confirmed his fears. Nishinoya let out a long sigh as he closed his eyes again and tilted his head down for good measure.

“Noya…that’s not what I...” Asahi sighed back. ”I mean…”

With his eyes closed, Nishinoya didn’t have to think about the sorrow in Asahi’s eyes or the strain in his voice. He could feel the slow, albeit shaky breath rumbling through Asahi’s chest. Asahi touched his forehead to Nishinoya’s and sighed again.

Nishinoya thought he could have screamed. They couldn’t be sitting any closer to each other, and somehow Nishinoya _still_ couldn’t reach him.

Asahi’s hand slipped into his own and gave it a tight squeeze. Almost immediately after, Asahi was shifting away from him. Nishinoya reluctantly opened his eyes to watch Asahi carefully distancing himself on the far end of the couch.

As Asahi moved further away, Nishinoya braced himself for the inevitable. He and Asahi had been avoiding this long enough. He wasn’t surprised by Asahi’s calm yet firm tone when he spoke again.

“We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!
> 
> To be fair, I did tag this fic with fluff and angst.
> 
> Now that the semester is over I'll have more time to (hopefully) write the last two chapters over winter break!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/jijisdeliveries) | [Tumblr](https://lumosflies.tumblr.com/)


	4. Words of Affirmation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even on the defensive side, Nishinoya was able to strike a sense of fear in Asahi that made his heart drop into his stomach.

Asahi never thought he would see Nishinoya’s vulnerable side this fiercely again. The last time he saw tears in Nishinoya’s eyes was when they had that stupid fight that nearly tore the volleyball team apart.

Back then, there was a concrete solution; Asahi had to rejoin the team for Nishinoya to officially come back too. This time, Asahi wasn’t sure the solution was that clear.

“Fine, let’s talk,” Nishinoya said.

“Noya, I want you to know that I care about you,” Asahi began carefully. “I care about you _so much—_ ”

“Are you rejecting me?” Nishinoya blurted out.

He too had retreated to the other end of the couch as soon as Asahi started talking. Judging from the way Nishinoya had pulled his knees up to his chest and crossed his arms over them, Asahi figured he wasn’t taking this well.

As much as Asahi hated seeing Nishinoya curl in on himself, he also understood that this was just something Nishinoya needed to do. Usually, when the universe threw an unexpected turn at Nishinoya, Nishinoya fought back.

But Asahi wasn’t some unknown cosmic force meddling with Nishinoya’s fate. He was only human, and confronting something both he and Nishinoya had avoided for years was bound to make Nishinoya feel smaller than his spirit usually let on.

“I’m not rejecting you,” Asahi said, shaking his head slowly. “But I just don’t think it’s the right time for...well, for us to do anything like that.”

Nishinoya’s worried frown turned into a scowl in a matter of seconds. Any remaining traces of Nishinoya’s sadness had faded. Even on the defensive side, Nishinoya was able to strike a sense of fear in Asahi that made his heart drop into his stomach.

“I think I can decide for myself what is and isn’t the right time to show you how I feel,” Nishinoya said. “If you’re trying to reject me can you at least be honest about it?”

Asahi flinched at the shift in Nishinoya’s tone. He probably deserved the bitterness directed at him, but knowing that didn’t hurt any less.

“Noya, you just suffered a major loss, you’re going away again, and just admitted you’re not okay right now,” Asahi tried to reason. “I won’t deny that there could be something real between us, but this just isn’t the right time to start anything.”

That made Nishinoya pause. Asahi couldn’t tell what conclusion the gears turning in Nishinoya’s mind were leading him to. For a moment, he looked like the same boy who snuck into his bedroom to cuddle with him until the morning light gradually dissolved their little bubble of peace. Then the tension eased out of Nishinoya’s muscles as he uncurled his limbs. 

Although Asahi held his breath and the silence between them only amplified how much of a tightrope walk this conversation was, he still barely heard Nishinoya’s muttered response.

“Sorry, what was that?” Asahi asked, prompting Nishinoya to repeat himself.

Nishinoya spoke up again with a hint of bitterness remaining, but Asahi had a feeling it wasn’t directed at himself anymore.

“I said you’re right,” Nishinoya admitted. “I hate that you’re right.”

Asahi frowned, blinking back a few of his own tears for the first time since Nishinoya arrived. He didn’t know what else to say to soften the blow, but Nishinoya had already been through his own emotional rollercoaster today.

“For what it’s worth, I’m not a fan of this timing either,” Asahi offered.

“What if I put off my trip? We can sort this out together, right?” Nishinoya asked.

The thought of Nishinoya staying with him longer than the original weekend plans made Asahi want to give in for a moment, but he knew that neither he nor Nishinoya would be happy with that, given the fragility of their relationship at the moment.

“I can’t let you do that,” Asahi shook his head with a saddened smile. “I can’t hold you back when you need the time and space away from everything here that’s causing you pain.”

Nishinoya paused again. He seemed to consider Asahi’s words more carefully for a few seconds before sighing again.

“Right again,” Nishinoya said. “But what if I leave and come back and you’ve already moved on to someone else who’s actually _here_ for you when you need them?”

The thought of another relationship with someone other than Nishinoya wasn’t even something Asahi considered. Asahi had to let out a laugh. When Nishinoya’s jaw dropped in shock—maybe even indignation—Asahi covered his mouth with his hand and bit his lip to stifle the laughter.

“What the hell, Asahi? I’m pouring my heart out for you here and you think it’s funny?”

By the time Asahi removed his hand from his face, his smile had been subdued. He knew he couldn’t hide the fondness in his tone, though.

“Noya, there is no one else who’s been more of a constant in my life than you,” Asahi explained.

Nishinoya was still frowning at him. “Isn’t there _something_ we can do, then?”

Asahi thought about that for a moment as he weighed their options. It was clear to him now that they shared strong feelings for each other, but Nishinoya still wasn’t in the right space mentally—and soon to be literally—to test the waters of their relationship. Still, Asahi didn’t want or intend to give Nishinoya a full rejection. He couldn’t ask Nishinoya to do anything for him right now, but he could at least make an offer.

“I can make you a promise,” Asahi finally said.

Nishinoya’s posture straightened a little. In a way, he looked ready either to stand up and leave the room or throw himself onto Asahi, depending on what he heard.

“Go on.”

“I’ll still be there for you whenever you want to talk, just like before,” Asahi began. “And when you’re ready—and I do mean _only_ when you’re ready—we can revisit this conversation.”

When Nishinoya made no move to shift his position on the couch, Asahi continued.

“I know it’s not much of an offer,” he admitted. “But if we want to see if we would work as a couple, I don’t want us to rush into anything.”

Even if what he had to offer Nishinoya wasn’t perfect, it was all he could do without begging Nishinoya to stay. But he couldn’t ask that of Nishinoya before he was ready to settle down. As Nishinoya stared back at him, Asahi fought the urge to look away.

After what felt like an eternity, Nishinoya’s carefully neutral expression melted into a soft smile, and he reached out to hold Asahi’s hands in his own. Asahi let him, and Nishinoya took that as a sign to keep moving. Asahi reminded himself to breathe as Nishinoya moved forward, crowding into his personal space until they were less than an arm’s length apart.

At this distance, Asahi could see the slight hesitation of the words slipping through Nishinoya’s lips before he heard it.

“We can wait, but I need you to know my feelings won’t change,” Nishinoya said. “That’s _my_ promise to _you_.”

Asahi looked down at their joined hands, wondering how Nishinoya had managed to take control of the situation so quickly and confidently. He met Nishinoya’s eyes again and nodded.

“I’ll be waiting.”

* * *

The rest of the weekend passed too quickly for Asahi’s taste. Too soon, he had found himself accompanying Nishinoya to the airport. 

“Thanks again,” Nishinoya had said at the entrance. “For everything.”

Asahi had just smiled back at him and offered Nishinoya his bag. “Consider us even, then.”

Instead of taking the bag immediately, Nishinoya stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Asahi in a tight hug.

Asahi carefully lowered the bag to the ground before returning the hug.

“Take care of yourself out there,” Asahi said. “I’m counting on you coming back in one piece someday.”

Nishinoya grinned up at him. “I’ll come back to you any day.”

With that, Nishinoya gathered his belongings and disappeared into the crowd of international travelers.

Some part of Asahi secretly wished that one of them had opted for a grand gesture like chasing Nishinoya before he reached the security check to give him a good luck charm or even kiss him as his way of saying goodbye.

But he knew Nishinoya wasn’t leaving for good. They would see each other again when the time was right. Asahi was content to be patient and wait. Nishinoya was worth the wait.

A few months later, Asahi was in the middle of a phone call with Nishinoya in the early hours of the morning. Asahi didn’t consider himself a morning person any more than he considered himself a night person, but this particular morning required him to wake up extra early.

“Did you eat breakfast yet?” Nishinoya asked.

Asahi yawned, shaking his head. Nishinoya’s laughter rang through the otherwise empty apartment as Asahi fought back a second yawn.

“I’ll eat after the interview,” he said.

“No, you should eat now!” Nishinoya protested. “You’ll need the energy to show off all the amazing reasons they need to hire you!”

Asahi laughed quietly. “Alright, you win.”

He set his phone down on the counter as he cooked and listened to Nishinoya tell him about his day. Nishinoya was in Lisbon right now and just winding down from a late dinner with his new friend—a kind elderly man whose cat had followed Nishinoya around for about ten minutes before he noticed and led the cat back to his owner.

“It sounds like you’re making friends everywhere you go,” Asahi observed as he set his plate down. “I’m glad you don’t have to spend all that time alone.”

Nishinoya responded without hesitation. “You should come with me next time.”

Asahi chuckled. “If I can get this job and save up enough, we can plan a trip together.”

“Wait, really?” Nishinoya asked. “I didn’t think that would work so easily.”

Asahi took a bite of his food before answering. “I mean it. If I can save up enough money and vacation days, I’ll join you wherever you want to go for a week.”

On the other end of the line, Asahi heard Nishinoya cheering with his new friend in a mix of English and Portuguese. He smiled to himself as he heard them celebrate until Nishinoya remembered they were still on a phone call.

“You won’t regret this, I promise,” Nishinoya insisted.

Asahi smiled again.

“I don’t regret anything with you, Noya.”

Nishinoya continued to enthusiastically tell Asahi about all the best ways to travel and everything he thought Asahi would love about their trip as Asahi finished resting and washed the dishes. When he was done, he noticed that the line had gone quiet, and he worried for a moment that the call had disconnected.

“Asahi?” Nishinoya’s voice broke the silence.

“Yeah Noya?”

“Can we have that talk about us soon?” Nishinoya asked seriously.

Asahi didn’t have to ask for clarification, and for once in his life, he wasn’t scared of the future. He knew how he felt and he knew how Nishinoya felt. They just needed to say it to each other.

“Okay,” Asahi said. “Call me when you have some free time tomorrow.”

Though he wouldn’t bring it up unless Nishinoya did first, Asahi could hear the relief in Nishinoya’s voice as he spoke. It made his heart ache to be able to have this conversation in person and hold Nishinoya in his arms again.

“Thanks, Asahi,” Nishinoya said. “Now go ace that job interview!”

Asahi laughed. “Thanks for believing in me Noya.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!
> 
> I'm hoping to get the last chapter out by the new year, but if not, have a happy new year everyone!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/jijisdeliveries) | [Tumblr](https://lumosflies.tumblr.com/)


	5. Quality Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With just over a month of practicing this routine and Asahi’s constant encouragement, Nishinoya was confident that he could do this with his eyes closed. He preferred to keep them open, though.

Nishinoya was never much of a coffee person. If he had to drink some coffee to fight his jet lag after a particularly long flight, he preferred sweet flavors that came in lattes with lots of sugar. His favorite early morning drink was actually tea. Coffee was served differently in nearly every country he had visited so far, but he had mostly universal experiences with tea.

Still, Nishinoya didn’t mind brewing coffee as he drank his tea. He didn’t know how Asahi had even acquired the taste for black coffee in the first place, but that just made it easier for him to make it in the mornings.

Asahi’s kitchen may have been small, but at least Nishinoya knew where to find everything he needed from where he stood at the counter. Farther down the hall, Nishinoya could still hear the muffled hum of a hairdryer behind the bedroom door. The wall above the counter held a few sticky notes to remind them of the household chores that needed to be done and the various ingredients they would need to buy for dinner throughout the week. Nishinoya made a mental note to go on a grocery run the next time he went out.

Nishinoya had just finished pouring the coffee into a mug when Asahi emerged from the bedroom dressed in his new dark gray suit jacket with a silk black tie in his hands. His hair was already combed back into a smooth bun at the nape of his neck.

“What do you think? Should I change back into the black suit?” Asahi asked Nishinoya as he walked into the kitchen.

Instead of answering, Nishinoya handed Asahi his mug in exchange for his tie and gestured for Asahi to sit down. Asahi sat before him at the table, taking a careful sip of his coffee as he let Nishinoya wrap the tie around his upturned shirt collar and tie it in an even knot.

“You look amazing,” Nishinoya assured him as he wrapped the fabric around his fingers.

With just over a month of practicing this routine and Asahi’s constant encouragement, Nishinoya was confident that he could do this with his eyes closed. He preferred to keep them open, though. The view of Asahi’s faint blush and averted gaze whenever his fingers “accidentally” got too close to a sensitive spot on his neck was much nicer.

When Nishinoya was done with the tie and flipped the collar down over it, Asahi slipped the jacket on and took another sip of his coffee with a satisfied smile. Nishinoya set the mug down on the table and gently tugged on his jacket until they were just a few centimeters apart. As Nishinoya predicted, Asahi began to blush as Nishinoya closed the distance between their lips in a chaste kiss.

“You always look amazing,” Nishinoya said, grinning wide.

Asahi chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Nishinoya’s waist and rested his forehead against Nishinoya’s.

“We’ll be late if you keep distracting me like this,” he mumbled.

In response, Nishinoya just pressed another kiss to Asahi’s lips. When Asahi didn’t pull away, Nishinoya crowded into his space further until he was sitting on Asahi’s lap with his legs dangling off the side of the chair.

Despite his previous comment, Asahi kept his arms held tight around Nishinoya, who let out a content sigh when Asahi finally pulled away. It was the little things like the smell of Asahi’s aftershave and the lingering taste of coffee on his lips that blurred the rest of Nishinoya’s thoughts and priorities. He didn’t care that their clothes would wrinkle or some of their friends would tease them for arriving a little disheveled if they stayed like this a little longer.

“Come on,” Asahi tried again, patting Nishinoya’s back. “We’re already running late.”

Nisinoya sighed again in mock disappointment as he slid off of Asahi and started walking toward the bathroom.

“Ryuu will understand when he sees how good you look in that suit,” Nishinoya called over his shoulder.

“I think Kiyoko would disagree,” Asahi laughed into his mug.

* * *

Out of all the celebrations and parties Nishinoya had been a part of, his best friend’s wedding reception was his favorite so far. The music and food were incredible, but the look on Tanaka’s face during his first dance with Kiyoko was priceless. Tanaka usually wore his heart on his sleeve, but it was still heartwarming to see the pure, unfiltered admiration in Tanaka’s eyes as he met his wife’s eyes.

Nishinoya loved dancing and catching up with his old friends when they found the chance, but most of all, he loved that Asahi was by his side throughout the night. They endured Daichi and Suga teasing them, and Nishinoya even laughed along with them as they pointed out how red Asahi’s face flushed when they brought up embarrassing memories. Even as Asahi hid his face in his hands and said he needed new friends, Nishinoya knew that he had missed their company.

Far too soon, Nishinoya found himself stumbling into Asahi’s apartment, kicking off his shoes and shedding his jacket before Asahi could even close the door.

“Yuu, that’s not how—” Asahi tried to catch his attention, but Nishinoya was already halfway to the bedroom.

Nishinoya had already traded his formal clothes for a clean t-shirt and shorts that Asahi had already folded and laid on top of the dresser for him. He kicked his clothes into the corner and flopped onto the bed just as Asahi entered the room.

“One of these days, you’re going to trip over your own clothes,” Asahi commented.

“But I didn’t,” Nishinoya replied with an innocent smile.

Asahi had also begun undressing, but he still held both his and Nishinoya’s jackets over his arm with care until he could put them into the laundry basket at the foot of the bed. Nishinoya couldn’t resist whistling as Asahi unbuttoned his shirt, and he laughed when Asahi tossed it in his general direction.

By the time Nishinoya uncovered his face, Asahi had already finished changing into his own t-shirt and sweatpants, and he was on his way to collect Nishinoya’s neglected clothes from the floor.

“Asahi,” Nishinoya whined, exaggerating the last syllable. “Just come lay down with me.”

He held his arms out and grabbed at the air. Asahi ignored him as he dropped the clothes into the basket and made his way back to the dresser to brush the tangles out of his hair.

“Somehow I think you’ll live if I take another five minutes to wash up,” Asahi chuckled.

He met Nishinoya’s eyes in the mirror and smiled at Nishinoya’s fake pout.

“I’m _cold_ , Asahi,” Nishinoya tried again. “You wouldn’t leave me here to freeze, would you?”

Asahi’s shoulders shook with laughter and he turned to face Nishinoya. “Come on, we can get ready for bed together.”

Nishinoya rolled off the bed and onto his feet. He followed Asahi into the bathroom and began their usual routine. The bathroom barely fit them standing side by side, but neither minded the lack of space when they were just winding down.

Although they washed their faces and brushed their teeth without exchanging a word, Nishinoya knew they didn’t need to talk right now. They just moved around each other with relative ease that they developed over the past month. Nishinoya only spoke up again when they returned to the bedroom. 

He flopped down onto the bed again, this time on Asahi’s side, and he let Asahi nudge him with his knee until he rolled over to the other side of the bed. Nishinoya took a moment to relish the added warmth as the mattress dipped beside him.

“Be honest with me,” Nishinoya said as they got under the covers.

“Always,” Asahi responded automatically.

“Between Daichi and Suga, who do you think will propose first?”

“That’s easy,” Asahi answered with a soft smile. “Suga already showed me the ring.”

“Wait, what?!” Nishinoya’s eyes widened.

Asahi just nodded and turned to grab his phone off of the nightstand. With Nishinoya’s back pressed comfortably against Asahi’s chest and Asahi’s chin resting on top of his head, Nishinoya took on the task of scrolling through the pictures in Asahi’s camera roll.

“This is so cool!” Nishinoya gasped as he zoomed in on each picture.

He may have been exhausted when they first came home, but now he found his second wind. He couldn’t imagine sleeping now that his hypothetical question had a very real and very tangible answer. Almost as soon as he put the phone down, Nishinoya felt Asahi’s hand resting on top of his. Nishinoya smiled to himself as he brought their joined hands closer to his chest.

“It’s definitely exciting,” Asahi agreed. “Although, I wouldn’t be surprised if Daichi also has a ring picked out for Suga.”

Nishinoya laughed. “That would be amazing!”

“You’ll come home for their wedding too, right?” Asahi asked.

Nishinoya paused. He had been staying with Asahi since he returned to Japan from his most recent trip, but he never stopped to think of it as coming home. To him, returning to Asahi was as easy and natural as breathing. It didn’t matter how long he had been away or what else was going on around them. Asahi always welcomed him back with open arms, and Nishinoya almost always knocked Ashai to the ground in his rush to reach him.

The only times he missed that feeling was when Asahi was able to take time off of work to join him for a few days. When Asahi traveled with him, Nishinoya felt like he had never left in the first place.

“Of course I will,” he finally said.

Nishinoya supposed he could call it coming home. After all, Asahi was his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, everyone!!
> 
> Although it took us a while to get to the end, this fic held such a special place in my heart the entire time.
> 
> Also, if you're interested in more Haikyuu fics and art inspired by Fall Out Boy, check out [@HQFOBWeek](https://twitter.com/HQFOBWeek) on Twitter! We're planning for April 4-11, 2021.
> 
> Thanks again for reading and have a happy new year everyone!!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/jijisdeliveries) | [Tumblr](https://lumosflies.tumblr.com/)


End file.
